Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Salmon? Really?

Okay, folks. Get excited . . . because you have what I'm figuring is probably the longest blog in blog history coming up sometime in the next couple days! That's right. It's the Irish Cream Prequel! But hold your horses . . . it's not quite ready yet. In the meantime, here is an update that will prove that Irish Cream is probably at least a little messed up in the head (I swear, at least part of this has something to do with running)!

So 2 nights ago, my dream (most of which I've forgotten) went a little something like this. My BP girls (friends from college) and I were all visiting my friend, Laura, at her new house. While we were there, we somehow got roped into this Project Runway-esque type of a competition . . . only the rules were a little different. First of all, we had to use old clothes from a nearby Salvation Army as our fabric, and make an entire new wardrobe out of them. Second of all, the losers would be put to death. That's right, friends . . . they would be killed (this is another one of those "feel good" dreams, I guess). Now, in the middle of the contest (Laura and I were partners), Laura yelled something about the bathroom in her house--apparently we had to run back to her house to check on these dudes who were renovating her bathroom. So we got back to her house and everything had been fixed up, and we were totally pumped! That is, until we realized that we were losing precious time . . . and were probably going to die. We rushed back to the place where the competition was being held, just in time to see a couple of groups finish up their projects. We had hardly started and we were FREAKED! "Oh my gosh, we're both going to die!" We were throwing old Salvation Army clothing everywhere. AND THEN I WOKE UP.

Second dream--this time, compliments of last night! So I was going to my friend's party in the BK (Brooklyn), and on the way, I realized I was FAMISHED. I think I had just run earlier that afternoon (see--I told you this relates to running) . . . and I decided I'd make a stop at the golden arches on my way to the party (I don't know why--I don't even eat fast food). So anyway, I get to the McDonalds, and it's PACKED. People are pushing and shoving, and there is no semblence of order in place (kind of like the start of the L.A. Marathon--oooooh snap!). So anyway, I am trying to push my way up to the counter to order something, and suddenly I realize that I've wasted almost 45 minutes trying to get this crap food. This makes me livid because (obviously) I'm going to be late to my party! So I manage to get up near the front of the crowd, and I scream at the McD's workers, "I'm freaking hungry! I've been waiting for 45 minutes to order--what gives?!" The lady tells me to wait my turn, and that I should check back in 5 minutes. So I chill for the next 5, and then push my way back up to the counter, just in time to see this weird girl open up a mass of aluminum foil and toss it up on the counter. Inside, there is a big fillet of salmon, and she announces, "I'd like this grilled, please." I'm all WTF?!, but I am also seriously excited about the fact that I'm so close to getting to order. So I grab the next available cashier's attention and ask her if it's okay for me to order. She says, "Sure, but if you want anything hot, you're going to have to wait--we've got this huge piece of salmon cooking right now." I shoot salmon girl a nasty look, and ask the lady how long it's gonna be. "About 5 more minutes," she announces. So I wait my five minutes, and AGAIN head up to the counter, determined to get my food. "I'll have a number 2 with a diet coke," I announce. "I'm sorry, miss, but we're done with hot food for the night. You can have something cold if you'd like, but we're done serving hot food." I am beyond livid by this point. "But the other lady said if I waited 5 minutes, I could have hot food! UGH. What kind of cold items are available?" I ask. The lady names off a few salads. AND THE ALARM GOES OFF.

How weird are those on scale of 1 to 10? Ha. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight!


The Laminator said...

Okay, at first, I thought you were semi-exaggerating about your weird dreams, but now I'm beyond convinced. Makes great fodder for conversation though. Great posts.