Hanging In There

I have to laugh for a second . . . because I was apparently so tired last night that, when I woke up this morning, I didn't remember having written that last post! Just to update you all, I finally did get home around 2:00 this morning (after a quick detour into some random part of Brooklyn I've never been to before--I guess that's what I get for trusting the driver when he said he knew where he was going, and paying no attention whatsoever). I was obviously beyond exhausted, and thus, allowed myself to sleep in until almost 11:00 this morning!

When I finally woke up, it was decision-making time. I had 9 miles on the schedule . . . was I going to have the time and/or energy to do it? I knew I needed to get some more work done today, and it was very tempting to just blow the run off--especially given the fact that I was still ridiculously tired. With so much to do and so little time to do it, I did what anyone would do . . . I took a nap. Ha. Okay, so maybe that's just how I respond to having way too much on my plate, but whatever! After my nap (such a clever way to delay the inevitable!), it was again decision time. This time around, there was a lot more pressure, though, because it was already 1:00 p.m. If I was going into the office, I really needed to go soon . . . having a commute of almost an hour each way means it really only makes sense to go into the office on the weekends if I'm going to be there for a while.

Well, you all will be happy to know that I did NOT choose to go into the office. After a few minutes of nearly convincing myself to blow the run off and switch down to the 10K race at Sunburst, I finally snapped out of it (I have to admit--my desire for another medal was a huge factor in the decision-making process!). I decided I would at least get out there and attempt the 9-mile run. After all, I haven't completely missed a long run yet in my running career--why start now?

Wilson and I headed out to the park, and I have to admit, I did not have a very good feeling about how the run would go. I just felt so tired and sluggish. Luckily, the weather was pretty refreshing . . . nice and cool, with a light drizzle. I don't know why, but I really love running in the rain. I started to feel a little bit better, but unfortunately, it didn't last all that long. After the first mile, I realized my left shoe had been tied WAY too tightly! I didn't really want to stop, but finally--around 2 miles--Wilson convinced me we should probably stop so I could fix it. Once we were back on the road again, I got into a pretty good groove. The shoe was no longer bothering me, I was enjoying the drizzle, and everything was good.

Still, there was this nagging thought in the back of my mind that I wasn't going to make it. In an attempt to overcome it, I reverted to an old trick . . . dissociation. I began counting my steps in my head. Before I knew it, we'd made it 5 miles. Wilson and I stopped for a moment to get a drink at a water fountain and to take a gel, then we continued on. Thanks to my good friend, dissociation, we made it almost to mile-7 before I even realized it. Oddly enough, at that very moment, a torrential downpour began . . . it was crazy! The weather had cooperated pretty well with us all afternoon, but at that moment, the heavens opened up, and we were soaked within a few seconds--like soaked to the point where my feet were making ridiculous squish-squish noises every time I took a step! Ha. Wilson was tempted to head straight home instead of running another loop, but I talked him into staying out there and finishing what we started.

We continued on, and started our last loop. I felt all awesome and hard-core because I had talked Wilson out of cutting the run short! Well, it wasn't long before I began to notice my legs were feeling pretty fatigued . . . and I started having flashbacks to the 8-mile run I attempted a couple weeks ago. This time, though, I decided I wasn't going to let myself quit. I didn't care if I had to drag my legs behind me; I was going to finish the run! I told Wilson about my situation, and he responded with "Less than 20 minutes to go." I thought back to how I felt during LA when I had just twenty minutes to go--um, I'm pretty sure I was about 5000 times worse off at that point than I was during this run . . . this thought made me feel a ton better. I knew I could do it, and sure enough, I made it to 9 miles, finishing in 1:34:11 (10:27/mile pace).

It's so funny to think about how proud I am of myself for finishing this 9-mile run. If you would have told me back in March that I would actually feel a huge sense of accomplishment as a result of having completed a "measly" 9-mile run, I would have laughed in your face. But I really am proud. It was a struggle to get out there today, and this whole training period has been one huge battle . . . but no matter what has gone on in my life, I have refused to quit. That, in and of itself, seems like something to be proud of. I won't be setting any records come May 31, but I will finish that half-marathon, and I will be proud of the accomplishment. Ha, I just hope they don't run out of medals by the time I finish!

For now, folks, it's time for me to use this lappy for some actual work ;) Hope everyone had a great weekend!